A big little world of management
In Polish language, the word "leadership" is declined by all cases. So maybe with the upcoming new year you should take under the microscope your individual "case"?
A BIT ABOUT AN IDEAL
Research shows that nearly two-thirds of managers feel discomfort in their relationship with employees. Courage, charisma and emotions are creating a triangle – in a healthy case it is equilateral. This balance allows you to take care of yourself and then others. Neither the field of study nor the number of diplomas guarantee that you will be the perfect manager. It is said that an ideal manager is a man who knows everything about something and something about everything. In the eyes of employees, he/she should be able to support, understand, manage, and be an authority for them. Such a manager is noble, consistent and organized in his own life. He/she looks at the problem with a distance, always finds a solution that gives space for development, but never leaves people in need. Phew .... I got tired of this wish list.
THE IDEAL DOES NOT EXIST, PSYCHOPATHS DO
Have you ever met people who are incredibly charming in their lives, but at the same time are enchanting with the way they dominate? Such people have an extraordinary style of communication that makes you admire them for how well they adapt to the situation and for their ability of adjusting in all circumstances. At nights, you think about how they are doing it, that they never, ever are overdriven by their emotions. Respected, admired, considered charismatic leaders, make you want to follow them on fire, but on the other you have a deep sense that something is wrong. And rightly so, because although they do not show traits that often arouse fear, it happens that they are psychopaths.
In a sense, it is a taboo subject, but it is worth knowing. According to Dr. Paul Babiak from New York City, the psychopathic nature is a personality disorder that affects 2-3% of the population. Studies show that the percentage of people with a psychopathic personality is three times higher in the management environment, and every 25th recognized businessman is a psychopath. Is it curable? No. Why? Because the deficits that characterize this personality are permanent. One of them is the emotional deficit, which means that such people do not feel fear or other emotions that allow building relationships. They do not assimilate moral norms, but they perfectly understand what they feel and how others react emotionally. That's why they are doing so well in all situations, they say what other people want to hear and at the same time subtly addict others to themselves, which is helped by their unusual predisposition to arouse in others the allusive feeling of guilt.
NARCISSIST – THE FIRST FLOOR TO NORMALITY
The legend of narcissist you remember from primary school says that he was in love with himself. He ruthlessly looked at the surface of the water, like in the mirror to enjoy his beauty. Psychology, however, sees it differently. Narcissism arises when at an early age the child does not grow out of the phase of omnipotence and domination, which arises as a result of discovering the ability to walk and exerting influence on the surrounding environment. The thin line between excessive praising a child or constant emphasizing disability causes that both styles of upbringing may lead to so-called narcissistic trauma. In adult life, we encounter an insecure person who experiences criticism as a failure or, on the contrary, self-confident, with tendencies to humiliate others with the conviction of its own superiority. Both types are at risk of excessive sense of their own meaning, constant fantasies about their own achievements, jealousy and awaiting admiration.
Such a manager will not care about the good of the team, and even if it is so, his/her purpose of doing that is to satisfy its own need for recognition. However, let's not go crazy. "Norma" is a relative term, and in each of us there is a need for recognition and acceptance.
IS IT DEFINITELY EVIL, OR WHERE THERE IS BALANCE
According to the author of the book "The good psychopath’s guide to success", Dr. Kevin Dutton, having psychopathic features is becoming more and more common in the world of global business. The writer points out that having such qualities as ruthlessness, self-confidence, lack of scruples or lack of empathy is nowadays necessary to achieve success in the corporate world. On the other hand, there are also studies that emphasize that narcissistic managers tend to be more creative and introduce many innovations. However, their role ends when there is a need to evaluate it – as a rule they are already somewhere else. Psychology itself has many more questions about what psychopathy and narcissism are. The thing is to not let the intensity of these features deprive us of pleasure, and the other sense of value.
The results of the scale used to measure the features described above indicate that 1 percent of women and 3 percent of men meet all the criteria of psychopathy. Therefore, the point is not to be afraid, but to understand that both the intensity of these features, as well as the moment of their manifestation, is culturally conditioned, changes over time and depends on the circumstances.
WHAT TO DO? SO, START WITH "I"
If you've come it all the way here, then congratulations. People with predispositions that I described above would rather not do it. For they know better. Yes, you can smile now. Nevertheless, you read this paragraph, because maybe you actually met such people, or worse you have such a boss. How to deal with such a case – this is a topic for a book. I am talking about this issue, because mental health is something that is particularly endangered in our times. Once again, I stress that the most important is to understand the causes and strength of the phenomenon, in order to choose by yourself, in what relations you want to be. Here in a few words, I am giving suggestions for those who for real intentionally build themselves and their careers, and the new year is a good time to verify assumptions and introduce amendments to the plan.
Specify your "why". The motives of the activities vary. However, without realizing them you will blindly wander in directions that can lead to frustration instead of fulfillment. It is said that if you do not know where you want to go, you will never get there. Personally, I often say that if people would answer this question more often, they would be happier. So, ask yourself why are you a manager? Why do you want to manage people? To what extent is the goal in itself, and to what extent is the tool on the way to the goal. Performing this task definitely raises enthusiasm, dynamism, energy and ardor, which will pull along others.
Define your communication style. Research by the Harris Poll Institute indicates that two-thirds of managers feel uncomfortable in communicating with employees? Often it is caused by the lack of awareness of your own style. Are you activating, improvising, planning or avoiding? What are you doing in your relationships? – I suppose leadership at one time mean muscles, but today it means getting along with people – Mahatma Gandhi said, and it's hard to disagree with him. You will do it when you discover other styles and adapt your message to them. First, however, what you need to do is get to know your own natural way.
Expand the flexibility zone. You will hear many trainings about going outside the comfort zone. It automatically fills us with fear and we do not even realize how many things we give up in this way. After all, nothing pleases us more than a sense of security. However, there is a different, more ecological way of reaching for new ones - expand your flexibility, make new friends, turn on curiosity and take even the smallest step. Fear of failure or the unknown will definitely weaken and you will enjoy another success.
With the ending of the first month of the new year, I wish you joy, peace and fulfillment. And in times of weakness, because everyone has them, go back to your "why you do it".
Monika Reszko
